Coming Back to the Women's Resource Center

I recently completed volunteer training for the Women's Resource Center for the Grand Traverse Area.

This was the second time I completed the WRC training, the first being in 1996 -- only a few years from being serviced as a client in 1993.

Now, about 18 years later and having much more life behind me, I was in a training group consisting of about 10 volunteers and social work interns (including just one man).

WRC Volunteers in training, Jan. 2012.

We learned about the cycle of violence  and the power & control wheel. We focused on domestic violence and sexual assault law in the Grand Traverse Area, as well as advocacy for victims and their children. The Women's Resource Center programs include: shelter services, support groups, transitional housing, referrals, prevention education and other direct services.

I first came to the WRC as a client at age 22 -- in a emotionally abusive relationship, homeless and about 5 months pregnant. My boyfriend at the time, who seemed to enjoy locking me in the bedroom or waking me up in the middle of the night to yell at me, had kicked me out of the house where we lived with his grandparents, and then -- just a couple of days later -- threatened to commit suicide if I didn't move back in with him.

In the dead of winter, when my car was broken down and I was in the middle of exams at Northwestern Michigan College, I felt I had no where to turn.

Inexperienced with relationships and lacking a support system, I made a call to the WRC, asking for advice on how to handle my situation. Thankfully, I was convinced to come immediately into the shelter when the person on the other end of the phone said, "Sylvia, if he's willing to hurt himself, he's also willing to hurt you."

An hour later, I was in a safe place, with food, a warm bed, counseling and resources to help me get into a more positive situation. I lived at the shelter for more than a month, finished my exams, got my car repaired and found a new place to live, thanks to the Pregnancy Care Center of the Traverse Bay Area, who matched me with a shepherding home. (I talked about this experience in my last post.)

Zeke with Mary Lee Lord, 1997.

One of the best outcomes in my experience at the WRC was getting to know Mary Lee Lord, the late executive director of the center. She had been a nurse and had a sincere and calming aura about her. I think she even had a rocking chair in her office, if I remember correctly. To this day, I consider her one of my greatest mentors, even though we only spoke alone a few times. I would talk to her about my future plans and goals as a mom and when I did 'this' and when I did 'that', etc. She gave me at least two snippets of essential advice I have never forgotten. 1) Life is about the process, not the event; 2) My son would need me around more as a teenager, than he would as a small child. Boy, what she right about both!

Well, it feels right to be back in Traverse City after being gone for the last 14 years. "Right back where we started from," as my mother used to say. I even think back to a hope I had about 10 years ago, to work in or even run a women's shelter. Huh! (Read the article that proves it) Now, I have a chance to remember my history and share that story with my son. At the same time, I have an opportunity to give back and spread the word -- two of my finer qualities, I think.